Family Guy: Uncensored Review – The worst iPhone game ever created
3 Comments// Posted in Reviews, Video Games, iPhone by Sean on 10.12.09.
I was really looking forward to playing Family Guy: Uncensored. I figured a show I love on a platform I love couldn’t go wrong. But now I’d rather be Meg Griffin then ever play this game again (that’s a bad thing, in case you didn’t catch it).
Family Guy: Uncensored is a game where, if you do story mode, you go through different levels where each one is a different mini-game, and you are presented with cut scenes in between each one. The game has a sort of 8-bit mixed with new-age graphics feel, which is pretty cool. The problem is that every other thing in the game sucks so bad that the graphics are the furthest thing from my mind.
The gameplay itself is absolutely atrocious. I’m pretty I’ve never played something this bad in my entire life. Each mini-game is completely different, yet each one still finds a way to make me want to kill myself before progressing in the game. I wanted to get through each level to be able to review it, but I only got through 4 out of the 7 because I simply couldn’t take any more of it. In every level, I found myself just trying to get through to the next level. And the mini-games aren’t just terrible, they’re hard; like, really hard. I almost through my phone at one point. Also, the load times are longer than any other game I’ve ever played on the iPhone. You end up spending more time loading than you do playing the game.
On top of that madness, the cut-scenes are terrible. There aren’t any fast, witty jokes or even references to anything (at least enough to make you laugh or happy about anything at all). Actually there was a cut-scene where the greased up deaf guy runs past the screen, but that was the closest to anything funny in the entire game. There are some references in the games themselves, but barely any.
Oh, and the music is TERRIBLE! It’s so bad I can’t begin to explain it. It has absolutely nothing to do
So the bottom line is that this game is the most terrible piece of crap ever made for the iPhone. And Glu Games, the company that made Deer Hunting 3D, made this game. How could they make such an epic, disasterly failure? And the game is $4.99 somehow. There is no way I’d recommend downloading this game for free, not to mention $4.99!
Oh yeah, and I’ve had this game downloaded and played on and off for about 2 weeks, maybe 3. I had to play the game in 5 minute increments to keep myself from throwing my iPhone into the blender. Going back to get the screenshots was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life.
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